01
What is freedom, really? It’s not about having unlimited power or acting out of sheer impulse. In one of my classes, a student once asked a great question: “Does freedom mean doing whatever we want? If I really like a dish, can I take all of it and eat it myself? Is that freedom or just being selfish?”
I replied that it’s not that simple. It involves our cultivation and upbringing, our inner values and mindset. We also need to respect other people’s dignity, time, and space. It’s related to our family upbringing and our personal qualities as a human being.
For example, I go for a run every day in a park across from a manor. There’s a metal gate at the entrance. One morning, a man had already walked two meters out the gate when he saw me behind him. He came back to open the gate for me and said “sorry” because he didn’t notice me earlier.
I was impressed by his good manners and gentlemanly conduct. It’s a reflection of his upbringing and personal qualities. There’s a boundary here between showing respect and trying to please others. He didn’t do it to please me; it was a spontaneous action when he saw someone else coming.
I thanked him and felt grateful inside. It left a deep impression on me. Respecting other people’s space, time, and dignity is a form of cultivation that’s distinct from freedom.
02
The student asked me a question: “Can I put all these dishes here?” This can be considered as a lack of cultivation, upbringing, and accomplishment.
Let’s talk about selfishness. What is selfishness? Selfishness is encroaching on the interests of others to maximize one’s own interests.
For this dish, if there is only one person in the house, you can of course put it in front of you. But if there are others, there are other interests. This dish should be shared equally. In the process of equal sharing, there is a problem of public time and space. This resource and interest are public, and cannot be monopolized by oneself.
Therefore, whether it is selfishness or freedom, we must first talk about a process of self, in which there is a boundary. What is the distinction of this boundary? It is not based on violating the interests of others.
For us, freedom and democracy also have boundaries. When we are in the house, we are free. This is my home, and I am free. But when we go to someone else’s house, we have to follow their rules and habits.
Therefore, freedom also has boundaries, which are based on not violating the interests of others and respecting others’ personal space and time. It is only by respecting others’ boundaries that we can obtain the greatest freedom.
03
Many people tend to the extreme of not being free. We talk about the opposite of freedom, which is seeking approval. Seeking approval is not only a problem of selfishness, it is an extreme. It means sacrificing my time, space, and even my own feelings to please others, in order to make a good impression on them.
In emotional relationships, many couples eventually complain and even become estranged. The underlying energy of seeking approval is the self-sacrifice. The main material of a resentful woman is self-sacrifice, and the result of resentment is separation, even though our bodies are not separated, our spirits, souls, and emotions have already separated.
The clear boundary here is that every individual has the freedom and independence of time, space, and boundaries. Every person is divided within this boundary. The Buddhist saying “All things are one, all living beings are equal” means equality and unity, right? Why do we still need to separate ourselves?
This unity of all things is consciousness and energy. In material objects, each material has its own boundary, which we call a membrane. This membrane is the seal, including the issue of a boundary and surface. For example, an egg has a shell and a membrane. If you want to break an egg, you need to crack the shell and the membrane before two eggs can mix together. When two eggs are mixed together, if not stirred with chopsticks, the yolks are still separate.
Everything has a spirit, and that spirit is our individual self. This individual self is the inner core of our soul. Our human soul is immortal, even if the flesh disappears, the soul is not dead. It’s like an egg, with an inner core that can be replaced.
In other words, each of us is an independent individual. The ultimate goal in consciousness is to unify all things and make all living beings equal. It is precisely because it is not easy to achieve, that we set a larger goal: the unity of all things. Our essence is initially material existence, and all our inner cores are independent and separate.
04
When I plunder resources from others to strengthen myself, that is selfishness; even to say it is plundering, that is not right. Similarly, in emotional relationships or marriage, if you lose yourself, your inner core, your feelings, to please the other person, to cater to the other person, you also lose the independent space of your consciousness, your boundaries disappear.
In this self-sacrificing process, a kind of energy and emotion will ferment, what is it? It’s complaining. What is complaining about? Because what I get and what I sacrifice are not truly balanced.
When we generate complaints, we will invade and plunder more, which means that the inner self-sacrificing will have more dominant and controlling possession. I control others through self-sacrifice. We don’t like people who complain, actually, we don’t like the negative energy of complaining, more so we don’t like what?
The underlying energy of complaining is about control, possession, and grabbing. Because I am afraid, I have to sacrifice myself, I have to start controlling; I complain so that you feel guilty, and therefore you listen to me.
When we say that we don’t like someone, we don’t like not only the complaints, including verbal attacks, but more so we don’t like the soul being invaded. That is to say, everyone longs for freedom in their souls, an inner core where they can make their own decisions.
Inside our inner souls, each person has an independent space, we don’t need to invade others, we don’t need to sacrifice ourselves to please others, to control others.
05
In Buddhism, it is said that every person is inherently complete and perfect. In the core of our soul, we are neither too much nor too little; we are in a state of not increasing or decreasing, not pure or impure. Therefore, when we invade or even plunder others, or sacrifice ourselves to dedicate ourselves, it is meaningless. It is just a different external expression of truly plundering the soul!
You invade others because you feel inadequate and lacking, and you sacrifice yourself because you feel that you lack control and are unworthy. You want to control others to make them listen to you. In fact, all of these are expressions of low self-evaluation and the need to control others.
This is also why we often feel that we are not free. Who is not free? Where is not free? It is the core of our soul that feels limited and lacks space, which makes us feel not free. The manifestations of this lack of space can be seen in our time and space, and even in our physical health. We may get sick and have to take medicine or go to the hospital.
06
In life, there are actually only three issues: emotions, physical health, and wealth, and the biggest manifestation of these issues is the lack of freedom in wealth.
Wealth is a material substance that flows with energy. When I invade others in my heart, I feel inadequate and there must be a lot of scarcity within me. When I cannot satisfy myself, I lack freedom in material wealth, and I cannot be at ease.
We often say that flowers bloom with ease. How can we be at ease? It is because I have it! So, I can be at ease because I have it. Why should I occupy yours? I have it too, so I don’t need to seize or plunder yours. It’s because I don’t lack it!
When we don’t feel a sense of scarcity, we naturally don’t need to take away from others. It’s only when we feel a sense of scarcity that we would want to plunder, and this applies to wealth.
When we try to please others with wealth, it’s also because we feel unworthy. In the vibration of wealth, when we keep using money to please others, we will find ourselves losing wealth and the flow of wealth slows down.
07
In terms of emotional relationships, when you feel the need to plunder and possess others, even using deceitful means to take their emotions, your inner spirit will suffer great pressure, and the other party will ultimately end up angry.
The biggest crack in emotional relationships is trying to please the other person, but in the end, it doesn’t work out. One student shared that she used to always try to please her husband, but when she did, she found herself feeling a lot of frustration and resentment. She would feel very choked up, and then whenever she released those feelings, she would cry. Why?
Because she felt wronged, and it was like she had a heavy heart, but she didn’t speak up. Who was feeling wronged?
It was her soul, which lost its freedom in terms of time and space. She tried to please her husband and made sacrifices to cater to him, but he didn’t care as much as she hoped he would. But then, he was also wronged, saying that he also made sacrifices, so wasn’t he just settling for her? This process of settling is what we experience as we examine our freedom.
In essence, freedom means letting our abilities return to our own space. But when we can’t go back or even when we try to please or take from others, our internal energy starts to change.
What kind of changes can we expect in this energy? For example, if we take from others, we will face attacks from them, feel the attack of our conscience, and face others’ questioning. We will also face moral questioning from ourselves, and our inner discomfort arises because our freedom and space are being compromised.
But our consciousness has an instinct that loves freedom, just like how we are naturally attracted to light, warmth, and beauty. Our soul is naturally attracted to freedom too. What does freedom represent? It means I have the final say.
