01
As parents and children, what kind of fate do we have? What kind of fate brings our children to us? Who is this child and why does he or she have such a strong attraction?
Children are the result of quantum entanglement from past lives and could not come into the world as parent-child relationships without any debts or grievances. Every mother-child and father-child relationship is a product of accumulated emotions and fate from previous lives.
Parents are our upward line, spouses and friends are our parallel lines, and children are our downward line. We inherit personality traits, physical characteristics, and even family pains from our parents. Childhood pains, such as the sense of value and feeling of intuition, all come from our parents.
For example, if parents often talked about poverty and not having enough money, it is easy for their children to develop a sense of value-for-money. If a child has a strong-willed mother who never praises but only points out their shortcomings, they are likely to grow up seeking validation and approval from others.
Those who have experienced abandonment by their parents at a young age tend to become intuition types who find it hard to trust others and may even have suicidal tendencies due to their inability to feel loved.
02
We are influenced by our parents’ upbringing as their children, so it affects our relationships with our spouses and friends. At the same time, we inherit from our ancestors the characteristics of parenting, so we have various ways of educating our children.
You may see that our parents used to hit us, and we have discussed why we hit our children. Why is that? For us, our children are here to heal our body and soul, they are our angels. The pain and helplessness we experienced from being hit by our parents repeatedly replay in our minds unconsciously. When we have children, we can’t help but want to heal ourselves and remember ourselves as children.
Therefore, sometimes in a fit of rage, we may hit, yell, scold, or belittle our children, but not necessarily because the child is too mischievous. What are we really doing? We are healing ourselves and the pain caused by our parents, and healing from the unfair treatment we experienced as children.
We are healing ourselves, so our children are truly our angels who come to help us understand the best love in this world and heal the wounds we suffered as children.
03
When I interpret mandalas, I often see people having problems with their wealth. I would tell them, “You need to go back and reconcile with your father until it’s sweet. If it can be sweet, that’s great. If not, then make it peaceful.”
They would ask me, “Teacher, how do you know that my relationship with my father is not good?”
I would reply, “Your relationship with your father represents the material world and the sense of security and positive energy. In the mandala, I can see that the positive energy is not sufficient, and that your connection with the material world is not good enough. This means that you feel insecure in this world and cannot really adapt to it. It must be because there is a problem with your relationship with your father.”
Some students would ask, “Are you saying that I need to reconcile with my father just to have a good relationship with money?”
Of course not. As children, we always see our parents as gods or as the spiritual pillars of our families, no matter how old we are. Whether our parents are present or not, it is completely different in terms of our spiritual state, and the construction of our spiritual world is different.
04
So what if some fathers or mothers are not here anymore, what should we do? Then just go back to your childhood memories, even if it’s just a little warmth, a little tenderness that makes you feel loved, just expand that love!
If the relationship with the mother is not good, it will be reflected in interpersonal relationships. Interpersonal relationships, including our relationships with friends and family, and we find that our emotional intelligence is not high, we like to please others, we don’t know how to treat others, we try our best to be a good person, to be good for others.
But there is often a result, that is, others do not appreciate it; and they will say that what I did was not good, and I feel very wronged. I have done a lot and tried my best, but why do they still say it’s not good, what is the reason? It is because the relationship with the mother is not good, because the mother represents the relationship with this world.
I remember in a therapy class, when talking about the relationship with parents, a classmate said: “Teacher, I don’t even know how to have a good relationship with my father. I have never felt safe, and I have never been able to trust this world.”
When a girl’s relationship with her father is not good, she cannot fully relax in her relationship with her husband, in romantic relationships, and she has a lot of self-judgment internally, feeling unworthy, feeling undeserving, feeling like she doesn’t deserve others’ kindness, and she will also reject it.
05
I had a student ask me, “Teacher, what does it mean to be good? What level of relationship is considered good?”
I laughed and said, “It seems like you really don’t know what it means to be good.”
I continued, “Think about your relationship with your father. Does it make you feel warm and fuzzy inside? Does it bring back fond memories? Did your father ever rush over to check on you when you coughed as a child?”
The student responded, “No, I’ve never experienced anything like that. If my father didn’t scold me, that was already considered good enough.”
For a girl with a good relationship with her father, she grew up feeling loved and cherished, like a precious gem. She would have a lot of courage, confidence, and sunshine in her life, as well as plenty of happiness. She knows that the world is full of sunshine and happiness for her, and even if she fails or falls, she has the opportunity to get back up again because of the abundance of positive energy in her life.
But for those who don’t have this kind of relationship with their father, they can still find warmth and kindness in other places and try to expand upon those feelings.
If a person has a bad relationship with their mother, it may manifest in their relationships with others. They may have low emotional intelligence and try too hard to please others, not knowing how to interact with them and striving to be a good person.
Despite their best efforts, they may find that people don’t appreciate them or may even criticize them, leaving them feeling frustrated and wondering why.
This could be because their relationship with their mother represents their relationship with the world of material things and safety. They may feel insecure and unable to navigate the world, which could cause problems in their relationships with others.
During a therapy session, one student said, “Teacher, I don’t even know what it means to have a good relationship with my father. I’ve never felt secure or trusted the world.”
When a girl’s relationship with her father is not good, it can affect her ability to relax and be fully present in romantic relationships or when dating. She may have a lot of self-judgment, thinking that she doesn’t deserve the good things in life, and may even reject them.
What does it mean to have a good relationship with your parents? It’s the feeling of being loved and cherished, and knowing that you have a support system. Parents and children are all connected by fate and karma, which means that we cannot force our relationships with them.
If you’re lucky enough to have a good relationship with your parents, cherish it. If not, then try to work on yourself and strive to be the best version of yourself.
